Picture this: a room full of mostly male tradespeople, with Executive Team members and the Group Board Chair present. I stand up to give a presentation and start along the lines of: “Let's talk about parts of our body we usually avoid talking about ”. Then we get into some uncomfortable topics that, for many men, are hard to face, let alone speak about openly.
Why would I do this? Partly to surprise. Mostly to capture attention. But most importantly? To challenge the stigma that surrounds conversations about men’s health.
That moment was about starting an honest dialogue. That is something I am proud to do as a ‘Men’s buddy’ at L&Q.
Men’s Buddies are colleagues trained as men’s health champions. Our role is to guide and support men in finding the right information and services to improve their health and wellbeing.
Since we set up the Men’s Buddy programme in 2024, we’ve seen a real impact. Conversations are happening. Colleagues are letting down their walls. Many are reaching out for support.
Asking for help isn’t easy, particularly for men. From a young age, boys are told not to cry, not to show weakness, and that strength means silence. The same goes for physical health. For most of us, the local GP surgery is the first place we should go when we feel unwell. Yet many men would rather ignore serious symptoms than seek medical help.
This silence can be devastating. In fact, construction workers are nearly four times more likely to die by suicide than the national average. As both a landlord and housebuilder, that statistic really hits home for us
That’s why L&Q supports everyone on our sites, ensuring all employees and contractors have access to mental health resources. Knowing help is available makes it easier for anyone to reach out when they need it.
Recently, someone experiencing a very personal and sensitive health issue came to speak to me. After our chat, they decided to get themselves checked out, and discovered they had high blood pressure. Like other conditions, the earlier you get medical advice, the better, as symptoms can worsen and lead to further, more serious complications. The person has since made positive changes to their lifestyle and diet. They’re glad they didn’t stay silent and chose to get help.
To be a good men’s buddy, you need empathy and the ability to validate how others are feeling. It’s about making time rather than waiting until you have time: being present, visible and available. We aren’t medical professionals, and we don’t need to have all the answers. What matters is knowing our limits, signposting to professional support when needed, and being resilient when conversations get tough. The reward is knowing you have helped someone at a time when they needed it most.
So, how did I become one? The truth is it comes from a very personal place.
In 2017/18, life hit me hard. You know the saying, “when it rains, it pours”? That year defined it for me. Living with an autoimmune disease that affects many parts of my body, I was already struggling with the physical and emotional impact of my health. Then my son was diagnosed with a lifelong disability. Around the same time, a close friend took his own life. And, like so many other health and safety professionals, I was deeply affected by the Grenfell tragedy, where I had spent some time working after the tragic events.
I began to spiral and eventually had to step away from my job. The company I worked for spoke about supporting employees through tough times. In reality, when I needed it most, that support wasn’t there.
What made the difference was the unwavering support of my wife, my brother, who stood by me through everything, and a friend who encouraged me to open up. He put me in touch with a counsellor; someone I could say the things I wasn’t ready to share with loved ones yet. With their support, I was able to start putting myself back together.
After Grenfell, I moved into housing because I wanted to make a difference. My time at my previous employer had run its course, and I was ready to use the knowledge I’d built over my career to improve the quality of homes and services for residents. I’ve worked for businesses that talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk. I appreciate that L&Q is a values-led organisation that takes wellbeing seriously.
We’re proud that L&Q has been named Best Large Employer at the 2025 InsideOut Awards for our iMatter wellbeing programme. It’s a proud moment, but more importantly, it’s proof that when we break the silence and support each other, lives can change. And that’s exactly what this recognition highlights: the real impact we’re having on colleagues’ mental and physical health.
Alongside Men’s Buddies, we have 50 mental health champions across the organisation. Both groups are volunteers that are passionate about what they do and dedicated to taking care of our people.
I am proud to be a Men’s Buddy. I have seen many brave men break the cycle by confiding in someone, getting checked, and taking the first step to care for their health.
We’re not trying to fix everything overnight, but we are trying to start the conversation. And sometimes, that’s all it takes.
I want everyone reading this to know you are not a burden. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, and it’s always okay to ask for help.
If you’ve been affected by any of the issues in this blog and need support, you don’t have to face it alone:
- You can call Samaritans, free, on 116 123. They’re available 24/7 and will listen without judgement
- If you’re unsure what help you need, you can call NHS 111 for advice
- If you ever feel you are at immediate risk of harm, please call 999 or go to your nearest A&E