Resident befriender to six people reflects on community volunteering

“It’s amazing how quickly you can get to know someone.”

People choose to befriend for a variety of reasons. For some, it offers the chance to give something back to the community. For others, it provides an opportunity to build a new relationship. Regardless of their motivation, their time and commitment make a huge difference to the lives of older, isolated people.

For L&Q resident Lesley Hannabuss, befriending has been an enriching experience that has enriched the lives of others. Of the six people she befriends, many are stuck at home, with no one to talk to. Living by themselves, far from friends or family, they spend days completely on their own.

Lesley said: “I’ve been volunteering since I was young in one way or another, dipping my toes into different things that interest me. When I retired in 2014, I had more time on my hands and decided to find a new volunteering opportunity. I was drawn to befriending as I find it easy to talk to people and I’m a good listener.

"Every week, I speak to three befriendees over the phone and visit three in person. I also visit a lady who is in her nineties every six weeks and have a monthly call with a previous befriendee who moved up north."

Lesley’s matches have lasted for years – a testament to the relationships she has forged and the time she devotes to each of her befriendees.

“I was brought up by my grandmother and father, so I have things in common with people from older generations. They’ve all lived fascinating lives, with many affected by WW2. Listening to their stories makes me wish I listened to my parents more. My father would tell me all about VE day and I would love to hear him talk about it again,” Lesley continued.

Covid had a seismic impact on feelings of loneliness and that hasn’t gone. Whilst national uncertainty took a toll on older people’s wellbeing, having a constant in their week, by way of a friendly phone call, made a world of difference.

“I did daily check-ins over the pandemic and supported additional people over the phone. Where I could, in line with the restrictions, I chatted to my befriendees in person and from a distance, standing in their garden whilst they sat at their doorstep. People were very frightened, and it seemed to help”, Lesley said.

Loneliness was an issue brought to the forefront of our lives during the pandemic, but for many older people, it long proceeded this.

“The nature of long-term befriending means you see people change and it’s sad to see some deteriorate. Until recently, one of my befriendees lived a vibrant life, with many people around her. Now she is totally housebound, only able to access one room and forced to rely on carers. She’s a bright lady and we talk about all sorts of things. She never complains and it’s amazing how she is always able to see the positives.”

Befriending services improve lives and Lesley’s story proves how.

“Eight years in, I’ve learnt befriending makes a tremendous difference to people. We live in a different world. When I was young, families didn’t move far away from each other. What befriending offers that family members sometimes can’t is time to just listen. Rather than having to focus on the practical side of things, I’m able to simply sit with them, ask them how their week has been and how they are feeling,” Lesley continued.

When discussing Lesley’s volunteering, one thing is clear. The benefits that befriending brings are mutual.

“Befriending is a very rewarding thing to do. The role has given me something to focus on and I get as much out of it as I put in. I’ve made lovely friendships, had a lot of laughs, and learnt something from each person,” Lesley continued.

An L&Q resident for over 25 years, Lesley also sits on her social landlord’s South East regional committee and stepped in as chair during the pandemic. Reporting directly to L&Q’s Resident Services Board, each committee helps to improve the resident experience in different regions.

Lesley said: “Given my background in social work, I have found my time on the committee to be very interesting. To see evidence of all the elements involved in being responsible for so many homes has been enlightening, and I have seen firsthand how committed everyone is to providing the best service to residents.

"L&Q is dedicated to involving residents to ensure that their voice is heard and reflected in all aspects of their practice. It’s great to see this happening, with members of the committee being made to feel welcomed and our opinions valued."

Want to make a difference to the life of an older, isolated person? Sign up to be an Age UK befriender or a Cross Roads befriender.