Jokes

• What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.

• What do you get if you cross a burglar and a cement mixer?
A hardened criminal.

• Why did ET get a shock?
He received his phone bill!

• There were two fish in a tank, what did one say to the other?
"How do you drive this thing?"

• Customer: I would like to try on that dress in the window please.
Assistant: I’m sorry, but you’ll have to use the changing rooms like everyone else!

• Why can’t cars play football?
‘cos they only have one boot.

• Hickory, dickory dock
Two mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
And the other survived with minor injuries.

• Why shouldn’t you play poker in the jungle?
‘cos there’s too many cheetahs!

• What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper!

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